The Measuring Stick

Too many times I have fallen in to the trap of pulling out the Measuring Stick! 

You know the one.  The one that compares your life, your children, your home school, your faith to others.  How do we measure up, we might ask ourselves???  Are we doing enough, well enough, faithfully enough, lovingly enough, blah blah blah!  This can be an all-too-easy pattern to fall in to and we must stop ourselves in our tracks, slap our hands, and put that stick AWAY!!

It's a little bit like driving in the fast lane, but going too slow.  People keep passing you.  Do you pull over, or speed up and try to keep up?  What if you've got your signal on to get over but no one will let you in?  They are so busy trying to keep up themselves that they don't even notice you...

For those of us who choose home education as a vocation alongside being a wife and mother, we are very good at trying to keep up with what everyone else is doing and we sometimes fail to notice when it's time to take a step back and look at the big picture.  Sometimes it's imperative to get over into the slow lane so we can catch our breath, and just BE....with our children and our family.  And this is NOT the time to bring out the measuring stick either!  Our "measuring up" should be left to God and what we are doing everyday to bring Him and his Blessed Mother into our lives to keep us on track!  And how about inviting some of those Saints in for a little tea and reflection time as well.

If you're feeling like you haven't got it all together like you may think others do, then it's probably time to turn off the computer, forget about checking email throughout the day, and disconnect for a little while so you can just chill with your kids.  Fact of the matter is, you are doing God's work every day, period!!!  Only HE can know if you're doing it well enough, lovingly enough, faithfully enough! 

My personal New Years pledge is not to try and measure up, except to what He wants me to do.  I am asking Our Loving Mother to please bring me closer to Him who is all good and loving and forgiving of little 'ole me when I feel the urge to whip out my stick!

"That he might be made known."

I only want to be obedient to Him, maker of all good things.  To find joy in the day to day happenings in our life, not to what others might think. 

"Upon my servants and my handmaids I will pour out a portion of my spirit."

Well, this is good news to me as truly I depend on the Holy Spirit for guidance and I will gladly accept my portion.  Hopefully with His help I can manage to portion out the better parts of ME to my family and discard the rest!  As His servant and handmaid I can only trust in His grace and that of His loving and most gracious Mother.

If you are needing a little sojourn into the slow lane, but feel guilty about it because we just finished up with a large and enjoyable break for Christmas, ponder these ideas and see if any of them will stick (but leave the measuring stick in the closet):

Remember all the fun games you played over Christmas break??  All the baking and crafts???  Well, you don't have to abandon that frame of mind to keep it all going!  Why not have a baking day every week during these longer winter days, there's nothing like the smell of something yummy baking to bring everyone's spirits around a bit!  Combine the baking timer on the clock to your Read-Alouds!  I'll bet three to four picture books could be read during those minutes ticking away! 

What about a weekly arts and crafts time while listening to stories on the CD player, or combine that with your music appreciation time. There are so many lovely classical CD's you could listen to during this creative time.  The kids will truly look forward to it, especially if you can plan ahead a little bit and have some art trays ready to go!  It's still the perfect time for knitting and crochet projects too!  Even the littlest can learn finger knitting, it's pretty cool!

Games anyone???  We had a blast with our new Settlers of Catan and Clue games over our break, we can't get enough of these ones!!  Evenings by the fire playing a family game together is a wonderful way to perfect ourselves in His sight!  He loves our domestic churches and would only encourage family game night, any day or night of the week!

The long and short of it here is this: Winter is long, winter is cold (unless you live in the South Pacific somewhere) and winter is a time for solace and turning inward.  Just like a little hibernating chipmunk, it is okay in His eyes to let your heart beat a little slower, maybe a LOT slower and snuggle down deeper into that cozy nest.   

I'm certainly not advocating abandoning all your lovely new years goals and resolutions that you have made, just keep them all in perspective.  Keep them within reach and keep the measuring stick hidden away, far, far away. 

You are perfect in his sight, and holy, and blessed. 

"May the God of peace himself make us perfectly holy and may we entirely, spirit, soul, and body, be preserved blameless for the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen."

I wish you many un-measured days of peace and perfection! 

Comments

[sharon]

Well said. I couldn't agree more. Usually my measuring stick comes from all of you! I don't home school. The girls' math papers come home and I am lost. They are in second grade! I have a friend who invites them over periodically and does crafts, or chocolate fountain or pasta party....yikes! I tend to be a perfectionist anyway so I set the bar pretty high. Then I also use the measuring stick on belongings -- particularly my house. I need to do self-talk to remember where my priorities are and what really matters to me. It doesn't matter that my house is small.

[Jodi]

Thank you so much for your thoughts. I enjoy your blog immensely. I also enjoyed the DVD of your Real Learning Conference talk. My only resolution this year is to *pause* and enjoy life, my kids, my roles (wife, mother, child of God) more. I need to remind myself almost daily.

I have a question about Montessori Materials, if you don't mind. My 7 kids are ages 2, 5, 9, 11, 14, 15, and 16. I toy with the idea often of investing in the geography cabinet/maps, the cute drawers of geometric shapes and leaves. We have so many Montessori materials (mostly homemade) that I've used over the past probably 7 years of our homeschooling, and I"m wondering if my kids are too old (besides the youngest 2) to make it worthy to invest in.

What do you think? you can email me privately, or I'll try to remember to check back here.

You are appreciated!

Jodi in Florida

[Mary Alice]

I am silly about that meausring stick, I just told my hubby that I need to stop competing with people -- including myself! We had one year when we never got back to a good school routine after Christmas, so I know we need to get back on track, but I have added "cooking" "board games" and "crafts" to my weekly check list -- these things get a check just like handwriting and math, so now when I do them I recognize that we are still learning and I give myself the credit of having "accomplished" something that helps me to stay on track.

[Hallie]

Thank you for this. A friend I were just having the measuring up conversation yesterday and came to the conclusion that we both needed to stop comparing ourselves to others. As inspirational as all of the Catholic homeschooling blogs are they don't always give the whole picture and it can be easy to lose perspective. When the blogs stop inspiring us and start making us feel inadequate then it is probably time for a little breather. :)

[Diane]

Thank you, Meredith. This is a beautiful reflection and such wise counsel. You have touched my heart.

[Jessica]

Thank you so much Meredith! This was beautiful and just what I have been needing to hear. I find that I also find myself pulling out that measuring stick too often, and feeling quite inadequate in comparison to others. I am going to really focus on stopping that :) God bless!

[Barbara]

great post! thank you so much for it...God used this to encourage me today!

blessings!
Barbara

[divina]

Meredith, you always have words of wisdom!

[Jennifer in TX]

Meredith,
This post rings so true. I used to be very guilty of comparing myself to others--slowly with prayer and old age (LOL!), I have gotten much better at not falling into this trap. Your post was a beautiful reminder. Thank you!

[Annette]

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this. I'm printing it out so I can read it again when I'm feeling discouraged.

[Ouiz]

Thank you for a beautiful post and a wonderful reminder! I get overwhelmed when I see all the incredible ideas from other Catholic Moms, and I want to do it ALL!... but I can't. My children's education WILL have gaps -- they are being taught imperfectly by an imperfect Mommy. Once we truly accept that and move on, we can start enjoying teaching again! (someone remind me of this next time I freak out again!)

Thanks again!

[Karen Edmisten]

Meredith, this is such a beautiful post and such wise advice. We all pull out that measuring stick all too often, don't we? Such a good reminder to measure ourselves only by what God has asked of us this day.

[Jordan]

You are so right, Meredith. I know I frequently feel that everyone else is doing it all and I must be completely ineffecient. Thank you for the reminder to labor for Him and for the good of my family and not for the sake of measuring up to anyone else.

[Eileen]

We are so on the same wavelength here! You're like a cheerleader, encouraging the rest of us on. Thanks for being you!

By the way, I left you a little something on my blog, to thank you for being the kind of person who would write exactly this kind of post.

Warmly,
Eileen

[Celeste]

Thank you so much! I so needed to hear that! We are all in some ways the "gotta-do-it-all" homeschool wives and mothers! You are blessed with insight. Thanks for sharing.

[Jennifer F.]

What a great post. Thanks for these thoughts!

[cheryl]

You have some very good ideas, Meredith. I'll remember games, baking and art & music for the cozy winter days to come. This was a lovely post.

[alice Gunther]

Fantastic post, Meredith! Thank you!!!

I'll be thinking about this one a long time.

[LLMom]

I just now saw this. Thanks for the reminder!

[Heather Bress]

Meredith - I can't believe I am just now reading this excellent post. (Perhaps because I DID take some time to disconnect for a while, and it was SO good - I probably need to take week off once a month or so to keep my balance!)

I especially loved your ideas to schedule in a weekly baking, craft, or games day. Brilliant!